Congrats on your Bitcoin T-shirt, you crypto warrior—you’ve officially joined the cult of people who think “decentralized” is a personality trait. It’s perfect for flexing at the coffee shop, where you’ll pay $5 in fees to buy a $3 latte with your precious satoshis. This isn’t just cotton; it’s a billboard announcing you’ve got a wallet address longer than your last relationship and twice as empty. You’re out here preaching “HODL” like it’s gospel, while secretly Googling “how to explain to my landlord Bitcoin isn’t Monopoly money.” It’s a sarcastic masterpiece for the guy who thinks he’s sticking it to the man, but still calls tech support when his seed phrase gets lost in the cloud. Wear it loud, wear it proud—until the IRS figures out how to tax your vibes.