Oh, you absolute health hazard—the “Woke Up Looking for the Broccoli” T-shirt is your cry for help from a veggie-fueled fever dream, you kale-obsessed kook! This gem’s comfier than your juicer’s hum and perfect for stumbling to the fridge at 3 a.m., only to realize you ate the last floret yesterday—tragic! Wear it to the diner and watch the waitress offer you fries while you sob into your napkin about “greens goals.” It’s the uniform of a fitness freak who’s one salad away from a breakdown. Get it and chase that broccoli like it’s your lost dignity, you sprout-stalking psycho!